Gluten Free Goodness

Okay, this isn’t QUITE as overdue as it sounds, since we spilled over into the 1^st week of August with Carrie’s post on meditation and mindfulness.

There were a lot of terrific posts in this retreat:

• My Self-Care Goals 2013 GF Goodness
• Guest Post from Linda on Self-Care
• July Self-Care Goals on City|Life|Eats
• Wrap up and July Challenge on Eat, Recycle, Repeat
• 13 Self-Care Lessons from the Masters GF Goodness
• Guest post from Linda
• Saying “No” with Unexpected Results from GFE
• Debi of Hunter’s Lyoness on Unconditional love
• City Life Eats on Infusing some new into yoga
• Iris of Daily Dietribe on Letting Go
• Carrie of Ginger Lemon Girl with 9 Things that Make Me Feel Happy & Calm My Spirit
• Cheryl of GF Goodness on Re-Writing the Story
• Carrie of Ginger Lemon Girl on Emotional and Spiritual Growth
• Kate of Eat Recycle Repeat on “How to Surrender
• Cheryl of GF Goodness on Depression and Self Care
• Carrie of Ginger Lemon Girl on Exploring Self-Care through Faith and Meditation

And, of course, I had a wonderful band of co-conspirators, who I appreciate greatly for making this event a regular part of my year!

June 28th:  Cheryl of Gluten-Free Goodness
July 6th: Valerie of City Life Eats
July 13th: Shirley of Gluten Free Easily (GFE)
July 20st: Iris of My Fairy Angel (you probably also know her from The Daily Dietribe)
July 27th Kate of Eat, Recycle Repeat
Aug 3rd Carrie of Ginger Lemon Girl

As for my goals: to be totally honest, most fell by the wayside. I did meditate and post daily in our Facebook group, but there was so much going on that I didn’t have the opportunity to focus on ME. I’m definitely making up for that this month, thank goodness.

And…

Drumroll please!

The winner of the Nuts.com gift certificate is reader Linda, who posted about her goals and then a follow up on her progress.

So…to each and every one of you, who participated by hosting, posting, reading, hanging out in our FB group, thank you for taking the time and taking good care of you. You’re well worth it.

We will be doing this again in December, and I look forward to you joining us then, too!

I know July is more or less over. But since Carrie is hosting next week (and because I’m behind on pretty much everything else!) we’ll be oozing on over into August.

Linda shared her goals with us a few weeks ago, and she sent me an update:

“It’s been interesting reading the posts. We took a few little getaways and I’m now catching up on what was written last week and this week. Valerie wrote about drinking more water and that is something that resonates for me! While in the car and out and about, it’s easy to let it slide. I find drinking enough water easier when I’m working and my schedule is predictable.

I appreciate Iris’s post about connecting to within, to our soul, and operating from there. It makes sense and I find it inspiring!

Now that we’re this far into July, I see that while I’ve kept up with my morning Reiki, I’m not always taking those full breaths during the day. At least I’m more aware of it and am breathing more deeply some of the time!

I have been “accomplishing” less. Even though I’m on my summer break and not at work, there are so many things I can be doing, and I’m deliberately choosing how to spend my time. So, yes, our garden, that takes up the whole front yard and most of the backyard and can be a never ending job, is more neglected than in past summers. Ironically, when I let my “inner voice” guide me, I manage to do the things that need to be done. I’m learning to be satisfied with what I do do. This is easy to do now that I’m on holidays from work. Once I’m back in the classroom it’s a whole different story!

My husband’s taking his vacation time now. We’re having lots of laughs! I haven’t spent time with our neighbor’s dog three times a week and have missed her. I think I’ll see if she’s available now!”

Cheryl’s note: I LOVE the concept of accomplishing less. It’s the execution that I sometimes struggle with…maybe for our next retreat!

Linda adds ” One of the most important things I’ve learned is how to look after myself emotionally. This isn’t something we’re taught by our parents or in school. Self-care is essential in keeping us “balanced”, I think.”

So true! Can you imagine what life would be like if we learned self-care in kindergarten? We can dream!

Our fantastic group of bloggers:

• June 28^th: Me! Cheryl of Gluten-Free Goodness
• July 6^th: Valerie of City Life Eats
• July 13^th: Shirley of Gluten Free Easily (GFE)
• July 20^st: Iris of My Fairy Angel  (you probably also know her from The Daily Dietribe)
• July 27^th Kate of Eat, Recycle Repeat
• Aug 3^rd Carrie of Ginger Lemon Girl 

My Self-Care Goals 2013 GF Goodness

Guest Post from Linda on Self-Care

July Self-Care Goals on City|Life|Eats

Wrap up and July Challenge on Eat, Recycle, Repeat

13 Self-Care Lessons from the Masters GF Goodness

Guest post from Linda

Debi of Hunter’s Lyoness on Unconditional love

City Life Eats on Infusing some new into yoga

Iris of Daily Dietribe on Letting Go

Cheryl of GF Goodness (me!) on Re-Writing the Story

Carrie of Ginger Lemon Girl on Emotional and Spiritual Growth

Kate of Eat Recycle Repeat on “How to Surrender”

Cheryl of GF Goodness (Me!) on Depression and Self Care

I wrote this post 3 years ago and didn’t feel comfortable posting it. And when I saw this video about the importance of speaking up on depression, I dug it up.

It always pains me to see the stigma of mental illness, and yet, who me? I sure don’t want to talk about it either. And yet it matters…it matters that people (like me) speak as they’re able to normalize one of the most common conditions out there. Because one in ten people have depression, and one in five will at some point in their life. And those numbers are based on the people willing to admit it out loud. So chances are you or someone you love has, had or will have some sort of emotional disorder.

I can say that I experienced depression as long as I can remember– it was my normal.  My very 1st memory is actually of being so overwhelmed with depression, and I was still sleeping in a crib, so it’s clearly it’s been something I’ve had to learn to deal with for most, if not all of my life.

You can’t see depression. Or at least you can’t always see it. I was so depressed in high school that it was impossible to miss, but I think the years before and after that, I became an expert at covering it over, and looking perfectly perfect. And yet after so many years of being who I thought I was expected to be, I could barely recognize who was in the mirror, and I got to a point where I didn’t know my own heart.

We, as a society, judge depression harshly. There are acceptable hurts, like broken bones and sprained ankles. But when it’s emotional…the prevailing view is that there’s something we should be doing better or differently. We always have the obligation to do our best, but sometimes that’s not enough to help us function.

I know there are people who rail against antidepressants. I also have no doubt that I wouldn’t be here without them. For the first time, I knew what it was to clear out some of the ever present heaviness and I could breathe. And yet, after a time, that needed crutch became a cage. It felt like I was watching life through a window, safe but not real, and that was more of a burden than I could bear. I believed I get off them in time despite what all my doctors said/recommended, and I did. I’ve been off them for about a decade. For me, that was the best path, and I have no regrets.

And now? I do experience depression at times, but it’s (generally) no longer crippling depression. To be totally honest, it wasn’t easy, and took a lot of time, sweat, tears and therapy, love and cats. I wish I could say that my anxiety dissipated the same way, but it hasn’t (yet). And in some ways, I feel like it gave me a depth of self that I couldn’t learn any other way. There’s something about being able to hear your own heart cry out that helps you hear and be with others who are suffering in an authentic way. And that is a precious gift.

My years of depression and anxiety have also shaped my non-negotiable need for self-care and self-love. For me, eating well, movement, connection and meditation are simply necessary “medication”.  Old habits die hard and newer ones take longer.  If I’m not conscious of taking good care of myself, I can and do fall into destructive patterns. And, seriously, who has time for that?

I’m including this post as part of the July Self-Care Retreat. Our hostess this week is Kate of Eat, Recycle Repeat, and she just posted on “How to Surrender”.

Our posts in the series thus far:

• My Self-Care Goals 2013 GF Goodness
• Guest Post from Linda on Self-Care
• July Self-Care Goals on City|Life|Eats
• Wrap up and July Challenge on Eat, Recycle, Repeat
• 13 Self-Care Lessons from the Masters GF Goodness
• Guest post from Linda
• Saying “No” with Unexpected Results from GFE
• Debi of Hunter’s Lyoness on Unconditional love
• City Life Eats on Infusing some new into yoga
• Iris of Daily Dietribe on Letting Go
• Carrie of Ginger Lemon Girl with 9 Things that Make Me Feel Happy & Calm My Spirit
• Cheryl of GF Goodness on Re-Writing the Story
• Carrie of Ginger Lemon Girl on Emotional and Spiritual Growth
• Kate of Eat Recycle Repeat on “How to Surrender
• Cheryl of GF Goodness on Depression and Self Care
• Carrie of Ginger Lemon Girl on Exploring Self-Care through Faith and Meditation

Our blogging lineup:

• June 28th: Me! Cheryl of Gluten-Free Goodness
• July 6th: Valerie of City Life Eats
• July 13th: Shirley of Gluten Free Easily (GFE)
• July 20st: Iris of My Fairy Angel (you probably also know her from The Daily Dietribe)
• July 27th Kate of Eat, Recycle Repeat
• Aug 3rd Carrie of Ginger Lemon Girl 

Before we get into the “rules” (of the self-care retreat blog posts), know that the main “rule” is to relax, enjoy, take good care of yourself and have fun.

Why join us? Because self-care takes a village, too.

These posts are to inspire you all to make July a month of reflecting on self-care and the many ways to nourish ourselves. We encourage everyone to participate in this event in a way that feels appropriate to them, whether through making different choices around food, adding in movement, personal reflection, journaling or other self-care. If you would like to share your experience with self-care, we would love to include you in the experience, whether you join us for one week or every week. We ask that you link back to this post so that more people can learn about this retreat, and leave a comment for the weekly theme host, too! That way, we can make sure we see your post and that you’re entered into the drawing.

Are you a people pleaser? I know I tend to be. As I explore new ventures, have the sense of nervousness/anticipation/fear and wanting so much for others to enjoy it. I was picturing success, and in my head that meant “doing a good job”, getting the approval of others, and me feeling good about that.

I realized that picture is backwards.

Let me back up a minute.

5 or 6 years ago, someone I cared about went gluten-free. So I, a recovering type A+ decided to make a gluten-free traditional round challah bread as a gift for the Jewish New Year. Of course, I needed to do a lot of trial runs—I believe I made it 8 times. Initially, I had it stuck in my head that I was doing it for this person. Somewhere along the way (maybe time 6?) I realized the project was really for me. I wanted to see if I could create this masterpiece, and I loved the experimentation process.

And the day came, I dropped off the challah loaf, and nothing. Not a word. Maybe a bread thief snatched it or who knows what, but I never heard any feedback of any sort. This was typical of this relationship (hence why said relationship no longer exists)

But I realized, even before I dropped it off, that I hadn’t made it for her. I made it for me. I had enjoyed the process of experimentation tremendously, and that was what mattered. I didn’t need to hitch the outcome on someone else’s response, I needed to give myself permission to focus on my part, and let the rest go.

So I’ve started asking the question, why am I doing this? What do I hope to get out of it?

Because seriously, what’s a bigger recipe for resentment than “I’m doing this because…

• I want you to think I’m smart, talented, special…
• If I do this I’ll feel like a good enough person
• I was afraid of saying no or what you’d think of me if I declined
• I want you to like me

Um, no. My magic 8 ball says that the outcome of that definitely does NOT look good.

It reminds me of this quote from Susan Jeffers: “Remove those ‘I want you to like me’ stickers from your forehead and, instead, place them where they truly will do the most good–on your mirror!”

And so I’ve gotten clearer in my motivations. I’ve needed to separate out what I’m doing for the purposes of my ego, and figure out what I really and truly want to do. I know that if I let that be the litmus test, there’s no such thing as wasted time.

I’ve also come to realize that many of the times I was attempting to be generous were misguided. Gifts with specific expectations (anticipation of approval, gratitude, etc.) are “generosity” with strings. I’m much more peaceful if I’m clear with myself on my intention, and if I’m not waiting for a specific response back. That doesn’t mean that it’s not delightful to get praise, positive feedback, or gobs of “likes”, but for me, giving with an open heart makes it easier to take in the good and be true to myself.

So my goals, for this month and beyond are to make more of my decisions about me—about me doing the best I can, showing up and sharing my passions and gifts, and letting that be my focus.

For me, that’s great self-care.

This is part of the July Self-Care Retreat. Our hostess this week is Iris of My Fairy Angel  (you probably also know her from The Daily Dietribe) and she posted on Letting Go and her 28 day challenge.

A bit more on our retreat:

These posts are to inspire you all to make July a month of reflecting on self-care and the many ways to nourish ourselves.  We encourage everyone to participate in this event in a way that feels appropriate to them, whether through making different choices around food, adding in movement, personal reflection, journaling or other self-care.  If you would like to share your experience with self-care, we would love to include you in the experience, whether you join us for one week or every week. We ask that you link back to this post so that more people can learn about this retreat, and leave a comment for the weekly theme host, too! That way, we can make sure we see your post and that you’re entered into the drawing.

Before we get into the “rules”, know that the main “rule” is to relax, enjoy, take good care of yourself and have fun.

Why join us? Because self-care takes a village, too.

I’d also love to hear from anyone out there who wants to share their self-care goals! We also have a Facebook group and we’d love to have you join us! Just send along a request (it’s listed as a private group.)

As a little added incentive, for each post on your goals and your progress you link back here or one of the other co-hosts, you’ll be entered to receive a $50 gift certificate to Nuts.com  (they are not sponsoring, I just wanted something with healthy gluten-free, vegan, sugar-free, etc. options)

Our fantastic group of bloggers:

• June 28^th: Me! Cheryl of Gluten-Free Goodness
• July 6^th: Valerie of City Life Eats
• July 13^th: Shirley of Gluten Free Easily (GFE)
• July 20^st: Iris of My Fairy Angel  (you probably also know her from The Daily Dietribe)
• July 27^th Kate of Eat, Recycle Repeat
• Aug 3^rd Carrie of Ginger Lemon Girl 

• My Self-Care Goals 2013 GF Goodness
• Guest Post from Linda on Self-Care
• July Self-Care Goals on City|Life|Eats
• Wrap up and July Challenge on Eat, Recycle, Repeat
• 13 Self-Care Lessons from the Masters GF Goodness
• Guest post from Linda
• Saying “No” with Unexpected Results from GFE
• Debi of Hunter’s Lyoness on Unconditional love
• City Life Eats on Infusing some new into yoga
• Iris of Daily Dietribe on Letting Go
• Carrie of Ginger Lemon Girl with 9 Things that Make Me Feel Happy & Calm My Spirit
• Cheryl of GF Goodness on Re-Writing the Story
• Carrie of Ginger Lemon Girl on Emotional and Spiritual Growth
• Kate of Eat Recycle Repeat on “How to Surrender
• Cheryl of GF Goodness on Depression and Self Care
• Carrie of Ginger Lemon Girl on Exploring Self-Care through Faith and Meditation

Hopefully you’ve seen some of the self-care retreat posts. Shirley has a wonderful one up on the power of saying no this week, Valerie has her goals to stay more present and drink more water, I had a self-care through photos roundup with my furry friends and a guest post from Linda. Debi of Hunter’s Lyoness has a great post on Unconditional love up, too.

Funny thing about the self-care retreat. I had the best of intentions…(do you sense a “BUT” somewhere? Of course you do.)

But I developed a pretty severe case of something a lot like vertigo, and it lasted for 9 days. So staying upright pretty much took up all of my time and energy, and left me pretty tense.

And, all of a sudden, it went back to normal…and I am ever so grateful.

I have been devoting a lot of time to self-care, but in a different way than I envisioned. And it’s been a powerful teacher for me in a lot of ways.

I’ve realized how strongly I’ve conditioned myself to putting things together and putting on a good face no matter what. And I’ve come face to face (again) with the aggressive part of me who is never willing to take “no” for an answer.

Sometimes that’s a gift—my stubborn insistence that I will stay upright this week (or that I will walk, or will address so many other issues) has been a big part of why I’ve come such a long way. I decided I’d walk again (I have). I decided I was going to be able to walk stairs again (yep!). I also have managed to make my PCOS disappear and managed most of my chronic fatigue and Lyme as well, and battled other unnamed demons along the way. I’ve never been willing to give up on myself or my healing.

And yet there’s a “shadow side”, for lack of a better term. The part that yells “there’s no crying in baseball” and keeps me moving forward when I just want to crawl into a ball and hide. It’s the completely merciless part that believes if I push hard enough, I’ll accomplish my goals.

I totally understand and appreciate that part of me, because it’s served me so well in the past. But I’ve also come to see how draining it is to feel like I’m fighting a battle on a full-time basis. There’s a fine line, and it’s easy to lose sight of it, but self-bullying and healing are really quite mutually exclusive. I’m relieved, of course that this episode is in the past and I don’t need to focus on battling right now, but I’m even more proud that I got to a point of finding compassion for myself, for my body, for my situation…even in the middle of the worst of it.

So my goals roundup:

• Do a compassion or gratitude meditation 4 times a week (I’m hoping for daily—this gives me wiggle room) Um…I did the 1^st 4 days, that was about it.

• Take 2-3 days off in July and DON’T JUST DO WORK FROM HOME

Yeah…about that. Funny story. Not so much. I did to 4 hours last week, but a whole day seems not doable.

• Go back to kitty snuggle times when I get home from work, ideally daily, but 4 days a week works for me

Every day so far!

• Drawing—at least 3 days a week, hopefully 5. Bonus points for breaking out the fingerpaints.

I’ve done 2x a week. Works for me. No fingerpaints yet.

Now that life is back to more of a normal, I’m hopeful to focus more on my goals.

I’d also love to hear from anyone out there who wants to share their self-care goals! We also have a Facebook group and we’d love to have you join us! Just send along a request (it’s listed as a private group.)

As a little added incentive, for each post on your goals and your progress you link back here or one of the other co-hosts, you’ll be entered to receive a $50 gift certificate to Nuts.com  (they are not sponsoring, I just wanted something with healthy gluten-free, vegan, sugar-free, etc. options)

Our fantastic group of bloggers:

• June 28^th: Me! Cheryl of Gluten-Free Goodness
• July 6^th: Valerie of City Life Eats
• July 13^th: Shirley of Gluten Free Easily (GFE)
• July 20^st: Iris of My Fairy Angel  (you probably also know her from The Daily Dietribe)
• July 27^th Kate of Eat, Recycle Repeat
• Aug 3^rd Carrie of Ginger Lemon Girl 

Before we get into the “rules”, know that the main “rule” is to relax, enjoy, take good care of yourself and have fun.

Why join us? Because self-care takes a village, too.

These posts are to inspire you all to make July a month of reflecting on self-care and the many ways to nourish ourselves.  We encourage everyone to participate in this event in a way that feels appropriate to them, whether through making different choices around food, adding in movement, personal reflection, journaling or other self-care.  If you would like to share your experience with self-care, we would love to include you in the experience, whether you join us for one week or every week. We ask that you link back to this post so that more people can learn about this retreat, and leave a comment for the weekly theme host, too! That way, we can make sure we see your post and that you’re entered into the drawing.

2013 Posts thus Far:

My Self-Care Goals 2013 GF Goodness

Guest Post from Linda on Self-Care

July Self-Care Goals on City|Life|Eats

Wrap up and July Challenge on Eat, Recycle, Repeat

13 Self-Care Lessons from the Masters GF Goodness

Curious about past retreats? Recaps for July Retreats 2011 & 2012 are here:

http://www.gfgoodness.com/2012/08/05/a-july-self-retreat-recap/

http://www.gfgoodness.com/2011/08/11/4117/

I’m delighted to share a guest post on self-care from reader of GF Goodness, Linda. If you’d like to participate in our self-care retreat and don’t have a blog, feel free to email me or one of the other hostesses and we’d be happy to share your plans (and, of course, you’ll be entered to win the gift certificate!) The hostess this week is Valerie of City Life Eats

A focus on self-care seems so appropriate for July.  It’s such a beautiful time of year here in southwestern Canada.  To fully enjoy it, I have to honor my need to slow down and “recover” from the spring, which this year was emotional and exhausting.  Despite starting my day with Reiki, I can easily revert to shallow breathing after several hours.  I’m doing my best to make of point of breathing more deeply.  It centers me, keeps me grounded and slows me down.